City driving

I live in a city now. Therefore, I drive in a city now. When I first started driving in Baltimore I was more than a little bit apprehensive. The roads were all unfamiliar (plus there were a ton of them!) and the drivers were more aggressive (plus there were a ton of them!). I was scared to drive at first, but as I slowly grew accustomed to the way of a city driver I embraced it as a challenge, an adventure. Could I reach my destination without looking at it on Google Maps first? Could I get there without using a map at all? Yes, and yes, eventually I could.

My driving progressed and I began to look at it more as a competition. Could I get there faster, without breaking speed limits? Could I choose the best roads and the fastest lanes? If I wanted to turn left a few blocks later, but the right lane was moving more quickly now, then could I trust myself to merge later after passing a few cars? I was hoping the answer would become yes more frequently. That hasn’t happened yet.

City driving is too random. I can’t take everything into account. I can’t create a winning formula. Mathematically, driving is too complex. Sometimes I’d make good choices, but those same choices would be slower the next day. Sometimes a car would stop randomly in a lane and force all other cars to bottleneck around them. Sometimes it’d be construction, other times a moving truck. Taxi cabs are the real wildcard that I can’t quite grasp. Occasionally they are the most aggressive vehicles on the road. Other times they can be the kindest, most patient drivers.

So I’ve given up. This is my declaration of resignation. Baltimore, your roads no longer intimidate me, but I can’t figure them out. I promise to not always seek the fastest way and instead enjoy the drive for a change.

Technological revivals

I love technology, especially when it works. It's less ideal when it doesn't work, but for the most part I know how to fix it. It's called waiting.

My freshman year of college my hard drive failed. I took it all apart and tried to fix it several times. I gave it to a computer science major. He helped me run it through Lenox for a while. I couldn't get to any of my files though. Then, randomly, about a month later my hard drive worked again. No one could explain it to me, but I was thankful!

Last spring I was using my head phones in the library when the right side started crackling and then died altogether. I was so disappointed because those head phones got heavy usage, especially around finals week. The next day, the right side was working just fine. I didn't understand.

In May, the day that I put new strings on my guitar, my tuner died. I thought the batteries were dead, so I switched them. Those didn't work either. Even though they came straight out of a new pack of batteries I figured they must be dead too. But the next set didn't work either. About two weeks ago my tuner was up and running again with the original batteries still in them. My tuner hasn't failed me since.

In February or March the timer and mine counter on my Minesweeper game shifted to the right so that I could no longer see the ones place. If it said I had 4 mines left that meant I had somewhere between 40 and 49 mines left. If it claimed I'd been playing the puzzle for 11 seconds that meant I'd be at it for over 110. Tonight though, both the timer and counter are fully readable. I can actually know how long I've been going and how many mines I have left! It's wonderful.

The moral of the story: Don't give up on broken technology. Maybe it's just sleeping and will work later.

Life

Such is life: it ends in death. In movies and books the main characters may not dies, but if movies and books were real then you could rest assured that even the main characters will die. If in the movie or book or any story that characters cannot die, then you can rest assured that the story is not real life.

The greatest gift in life is life itself. Each day that we wake up and breathe and think and feel and loves is the greatest gift. Therefore the worst thin in life is death. It's the removal of the greatest gift. It's the loss of all that one person is. All suffer at the loss of life, for we are all connected.

The greatest love in life is also death. Through death all is abandoned and cannot be reclaimed. Where the greatest gift and greatest loss intersect is the greatest love. To willingly relinquish your life for another bears the greatest loss at expense of the greatest gift. There is no greater sacrifice and no greater love.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friend." John 15:13

I'm inclined to disagree with Jesus on this point. At the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said we ought to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Indeed, the greatest love is making the greatest sacrifice for one's enemy.

God's love feels greatest to me not when I am acting as a friend of God, but when I am an enemy. Even in those times of rebellion God's love remains with me. In his crucifixion Jesus didn't only give his life for friends, but also enemies. Jesus demonstrated the greatest love and I too want to demonstrate that some day. Until then though, I want to show glimpses of the same love as I live thankful for each day.

Adventure

Someone once wrote: "I don't know what part of my brain is used to play Minesweeper, but the part that isn't used goes on an adventure! Outwardly it looks like I care greatly about numbers and flags, which I do, but inwardly my mind is much more active than that! In my head my mind can go anywhere!"

So true, so true.

The Story We Find Ourselves In

I just finished my third book of this year in Mennonite Voluntary Service in Baltimore. It was "The Story We Find Ourselves In" by Brian McLaren. I've read several book by McLaren and I've always enjoyed them. In fact, without exception I've always bought the book after I finished reading it and then reread it, something that rarely happens. It was one of several books handed to me by my current pastor 6 days ago in addition to a longer list of books to read. (Earlier this week I read "Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller. It's also a really good book!) I was quite excited to see this McLaren book was one that he handed to me. And I was even more excited to see that there were actually 2 McLaren books on my list!

I was then disappointed to see that "The Story We Find Ourselves In" is actually the 2nd book in a series McLaren wrote. The first was "A New Kind of Christian" and I was not handed that one. In fact, "The Story We Find Ourselves In" wasn't even on my list. My pastor meant to give me the first one. The obvious upside: I still have 2 other McLaren books to read on my list! And both books in this set, though connected were meant to stand alone. There were several references to the first book in the second, but it really can stand alone.

I hadn't read a book of this style before. It was fiction theology. The book was fiction, but the intent was to explain the theology of the Christian narrative in a postmodern world. So basically it was fun theology. It may not be the most concise or in depth way to explain theology, but it's fun to read in the context of a story. The characters just happened to have extensive conversations on theology throughout the book.

The basic story line: The life of a pastor in Maryland is forever altered when his life story intersects with a friend of a friend, a woman who is being treated for breast cancer at the National Institute of Health. Through her, the pastor learns about how their mutual friend has been explaining the story we find ourselves in(the Christian narrative). When the friend also comes to Maryland, the story can be completed.

If anyone knows anything about me, they it's quite clear this book hit close to home. I'll list why: I'm serving as an intern pastor in Maryland for a year. The pastor's name in this book? Daniel. My mom has been battling breast cancer for several months now (one day shy of 5 months, I guess). For about the last month I've been unusually intrigued by the Biblical narrative, feeling the need to know exactly how it all fits together. Also, for years I've been trying to find my place as a postmodern Christian. Postmodernity scares some Christians, but I've always felt like it shouldn't.

So yeah, I loved this book. It's going to take me a while to unpack it all. Maybe that'll give me enough time to buy it for myself and read it again!

A Painted House

I've just finished my first book of this year in MVS. It was "A Painted House" by John Grisham. I bought it at a thrift store about 5 blocks from my new house for $0.90. It was plenty worth it in my opinion!

It was during my time in Iowa last summer that I first started reading John Grisham and I'm happy to say that I have another one waiting to be read. It's "The Last Juror" and I picked it up for free at a place called the Book Thing, a book exchange open on weekends for anyone to donate books or take them home for free. That's one great thing about Baltimore!

"A Painted House" wasn't anything like the other John Grisham books I've read. It had no legal side to it at all. There was a deputy who talked about arresting one of the characters, but that was it. Instead it was a story of a young boy named Luke growing up on a cotton farm in Arkansas in the early 1950s. Because of their hired hands during harvest Luke had plenty of adventures and learned a lot about family, life and death. I thoroughly enjoyed it! Anyone want to read it? I could probably get it to you.

Baseball took a prominent role in the story. The family was enamored with the St. Louis Cardinals and listened to their games on the radio at every opportunity. Because of that, the Cubs were enemies, though not ones to worry about (sorry, mom). It was the New York Dodgers that they were really concerned with.

Another interesting thing: Luke's grandmother mentioned the passage from Luke 14 that I wrote my last post on. Gran was an excellent example of someone helping those that can't repay you for your kindness.

Luke 14

Luke 14:12-14
12Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."

This passage made me smile today as I read it. The first reason was trivial: I smiled picturing Jesus using the word “luncheon.” I don’t know what word Jesus would have used in Aramaic, but the TNIV translators from Luke’s Greek decided luncheon was the right term. That’s just great!

The second reason I smiled was because I could picture the beauty of these instructions enacted. Someone would snub all their family at Thanksgiving either by not inviting any of them to dinner or by turning down all their invitations. The family would be confused and slightly annoyed until they realized the alternative meal that was being hosted. The person would have planned a Thanksgiving feast with all the fixings (including a vegetarian option), but instead of asking the usual guests to attend, less fortunate people were invited. Most didn’t accept the invitation because it was slightly humiliating or uncomfortable or just too odd. Those who came though, had a fantastic time!

I don’t know what being “repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” means, but I don’t think the rewards would be slow in coming at all. At the very least the novelty of the event would create peculiar and priceless looks on the faces of both guests and others who heard about it. That might be reward enough. Everyone involved would be thankful and new relationships would be forged. Some of them might last though most may not, but at least for one meal the story lines of people intersected to the benefit of all. The reward wouldn't be tangible or fully describable, but it'd be important.

I do find it interesting that this teaching from Jesus comes right after what he said in verses 7-11:
7When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: 8"When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. 9If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, 'Give this man your seat.' Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. 10But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. 11For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

This part doesn’t make me smile in the same way. It doesn’t come across as selfless or humble like maybe it’s supposed to. To me it seems underhanded and sly. It’s taking a risk for the potential of a greater and immediate reward. It’s playing the system and seems completely selfish, though in a less obvious way. Maybe I just don’t understand the cultural norms enough for this part of Jesus’ teaching to light up my imagination and cause me to smile. Perhaps if I attended a 1st century Middle Eastern luncheon or dinner then I’d understand a little better. Until that happens though, I think I'll enjoy Jesus' second teaching.